Rainy Day Man

Now rainy day man, he don't like sunshine,
he don't chase rainbows, he don't need good times, no.
Grey days roll in, then you'll see him,
I said empty feeling, Lord now you need him.

"Rainy Day Man" is a termed coined by James Taylor [in his lyrics] to describe that attitude where one not only delights in, but actually welcomes the gloomier side of life."

There are times, many times, when I become this rainy day person. It's not so much a depression as a shift in perspective. I sometimes wish I could be more [consistently] upbeat, with the positive outlook I possessed when I was younger and life held so much promise ...back when I only looked for and saw the goodness in people. But things and I have changed.

And nothing makes you feel so good as witnessing somebody else's pain. I don't mean catastrophic tragedies like 9/11 or hurricane Katrina. I'm talking about the subtle hassles, those little things that just fuck up your day. I get a perverse kick out of reading about "somebody else's woes" ...a kind of schadenfreude, if you will.

I was surfing through some of the [recently published] blog posts, and paused to read a few, all dealing with people blowing off steam. Blogging is very therapeutic in that respect; after you've bitched and moaned about whatever it is that's buggin' the hell outta you, (to no one in particular), you find that you feel a lot better. And since you've been shouting only at that wind, there are no repercussions for any of the venom you've poured out.

Excerpting from one such post:

<<...i am officially giving up my misogynistic ways. i decided that hating an entire gender of the human race is simply being narrow-minded...i now hate the ENTIRE human race. ..>>

<<...while there are a few good people, here and there, who actually have souls, the majority of you only give if there's something in it for you. you have no souls. you have no worth, no value, no inherent goodness and i wish upon you only the worst...>>

<<...being a good person is the stupidest thing i could be. i think i shall stop. its funny, i was just starting to feel better about humanity. i was just starting to feel that perhaps it isn't all as bad as that. ha! ha! ha! humans. we are the worst sexually transmitted disease...>>

This guy is (was) really pissed off. I hope he got some release in writing it all down. I know it made me feel a lot better just reading it; I got quite a laugh. Since I can sort of identify with that state of mind, it's like laughing at myself.

I can see I'm not so unique when I go through those periods where I just hate everyone. In retrospect, I realize I'm not the bitter curmudgeon I'd imagined; I'm actually quite positive by comparison.

Quote of the Week: "Surprisingly, common courtesy, common knowledge, and common sense are not all that common."

...Perchance To Dream

The funny thing about a dream -- especially that waking dream, the one you're in just before you're fully conscious -- is that it's so elusive. You're awake enough to know you're dreaming, and if it's a nice dream, you try to remain in that dream state as long as possible. I've even gotten up [to go pee], gone back to bed and resumed the same dream. But as soon as you awake, it starts to slip away. 'Though, upon reaching full consciousness, you may recall bits and pieces of it.

It's futile to try to make sense of it all, but it's funny how you do retrieve the odd detail that featured so prominently in it; that guy with the funny hat you passed on the street two days ago, that oddly shaped mole on your shoulder that, for a while, you feared could be a melanoma, the fantasy of confronting you're boss, whom you can't stand anyway, and finally telling him to kiss your ass ...and then walking out.

Some of these retrieved images have substance and reflect deep seated feelings and fears. Others are just "things" that, for whatever reason, temporarily registered in your subconscious. And, of course, your actions in dreams have no consequences in the real world. Even if you find yourself up a creek without the proverbial paddle, you wake and it all dissolves.

Sex dreams are the best. You managed to engage all of your wildest fantasies, without any trepidation, reservation, or inhibition. Of course, when you awake and reflect on what you just dreamed, you might be a little embarrassed at the truth of your deep perverted desires ...embarrassed in a good way.

When we dream, we go into a sort of paralytic state. This is to prevent us from physically doing what we're dreaming, although there are slight exceptions like the occasion mumbled word, or arm or leg movement. A "sleepwalker" is obviously not experiencing this paralysis and is acting out his dream, and upon waking, the experience is forgotten, like the dream itself.

And then, there are those extremely unpleasant "coke" dreams. Although I no longer engage in recreational drug use, and haven't for a very long time, there was a time when I spent a lot of time "chasing the dragon". It was not unusual to stay up for days on end, after which, regardless of the effort to remain awake, I would just crash ...and crash hard. During this hibernation, I'd undoubtedly experience a paranoid dream always involving some sort of persecution.

The paranoia, which is the yin to the dragon's yang, always carries over into these dreams, during which, at the height of some unpleasantness, I try to wake myself up. You see, I'm very much aware that it's only a dream -- like watching myself in a movie -- and if I can only wake up, it'll all be over. But I can't wake up. I have to do something [in actuality] like move an arm, hand, or even a finger to make the transition to consciousness. But I can't move. I can't break out of the dream paralysis. So I'm stuck having to play out the scenario in my mind. -- sounds like the plot from "The Twilight Zone".

Finally after what seems like hours of effort, I manage to move [something], and wake up. I know it was only a dream and why it was "that" kind of dream, but the trembling, the pounding heart, the cold sweat, they're all so very real. Even now ...twenty years later ...twenty years of being completely substance free (hey, I don't even smoke ciggies anymore) ...I [sometimes] can still feel the dragons breath.

Using the "Charm of Meiking", you too can summon the dragon's breath. But be careful, it'll burn you. The Charm of Meiking is spoken [in this sound file] by Morgana as portrayed by Helen Mirren in the 1981 "Excalibur". The image to the left is William Blake's "The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed in Sun". This particular image featured prominently in the 2002 "Red Dragon" (Ralph Fiennes) ...which was a remake of the 1986 "Manhunter" (William Petersen). However, the 1986 version didn't feature any images (or tattoos) of the red dragon.

Quote of the Week: "If you insist on playing the game, don't complain when the game plays you."

And No, I'm Not A Virgin

Even though "The Virgin" is the description of the zodiac icon governing my sun sign (for the period from August 23 to September 22), I myself am not. However, today is the day of my [annual] celebration of that [long lost] chastity (i.e. my birthday ...my eleventy-fifth birthday).

As soon as someone says, "What's your sign?", part of me thinks, "How lame is that?", and that he (or she) should be wearing a sign that says, "I'm such a loser!"

But truth be told, for as much as I'd like to dismiss [my interest in] astrology as mere entertainment, I own and have read several books on the subject, and I've plotted my own and others' star charts ...although I make no claims at having any talent in interpreting said charts.
 
erely describing myself as a typical Virgo would be a gross understatement. Whereas [many of] the traits associated with the various signs [of the zodiac] may or may not apply to persons born under those signs, if you were to look up the characteristics of a Virgo, you'd see my picture. Read Virgo's horoscope any given day in any publication, and you'll be reading what could very easily be an entry in my personal journal. But then again, as I delve into the mystery of astrology, there's always that voice in my head constantly challenging, "Gieau, you're not really buying this bullshit, are you?!" If I were one of the apostles, it would be Thomas.

Virgo, the sixth sign of the zodiac, is an earth sign and is ruled by the magical Mercury. Virgo people are practical and industrious, yet adaptable, with a remarkable eye for detail. Since Virgo's ruling planet is Mercury, Virgos have a truly intellectual, critical and analytical approach to life. That critical eye for detail, combined with a ceaseless pursuit of perfection, endows Virgos with an irresistible urge to improve everything and everyone ...whether they need it or not. Virgos are also subject to black moods and despondency from time to time, which can adversely affect others in the vicinity. (Tell me about it!)

The color associated with Virgos is blue and the gemstone is the sapphire. In the Tarot Deck, the card representing Virgo is The Hermit. The Hermit is ruled by the Element of Earth and symbolizes aspects of fertility, creation and the ability to manifest ideas. There's more -- lots more -- but I'm sure you get the gist.

Some notable Virgos (other than myself) are:

Sean Connery (August 25, 1930)
Ivan IV 'The Terrible' (August 25, 1530)
Regis Philbin (August 25, 1933)
Mother Teresa (August 27,1910)
Ingrid Bergman (August 28,1915)
Johann Wolfgang Goethe (August 28, 1749)
Count Leo Tolstoi (August 28, 1828)
Michael Jackson (August 29, 1958)
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly (August 30, 1797)
Richard Gere (August 31, 1949)
Van Morrison (August 31, 1945)
Gloria Estefan (September 1, 1957)
Barry Gibb (September 1, 1946)
Seiji Ozawa (September 1, 1935)
Jimmy Connors (September 2, 1952)
Keanu Reeves (September 2, 1964)
Johann Christian Bach (September 5, 1735)
King Louis XIV (September 5, 1638)
Darryl Zanuck (September 5, 1902)
Joseph P. Kennedy (September 6, 1888)
Queen Elizabeth I (September 7, 1533)
Buddy Holly (September 7, 1936)
Jose Feliciano (September 10, 1945)
O. Henry (a.k.a. William S. Porter) (September 11, 1862)
D. H. Lawrence (September 11, 1885)
Jacqueline Bisset (September 13, 1944)
Agatha Christie (September 15, 1880)
Tommy Lee Jones (September 15, 1946)
Jessye Norman (September 15, 1945)
Gaylord Perry (September 15, 1938)
Oliver Stone (September 15, 1945)
Lauren Bacall (September 16, 1924)
Alexis Bledel (September 16, 1981)
B. B. King (September 16, 1925)
Molly Shannon (September 16, 1964)
Jennifer Tilly (September 16, 1958)
Anne Bancroft (September 17, 1931)
Roddy McDowall (September 17, 1928)
John Ritter (September 17, 1948)
Greta Garbo (September 18, 1905)
Sophia Loren (September 20,1934)
Stephen King (September 21, 1947)
Aristotle Onassis (September 21, 1906)
Herbert G. Wells (September 21,1866)

Quote of the Week: "There are more things in heaven and earth, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."

A Boy Named Sue

I just saw this great movie, "Something The Lord Made", in which one of the major characters was named Vivien. Mind you, this is not a woman, but a guy (played by Mos Def). My first thought was how odd to name a guy "Vivien", but then [I laughed out loud] as I remembered "Vivien" from the old BBC comedy series "The Young Ones".

There are other gender-inappropriate male names that come to mind. "Marion" is the real name of John "The Duke" Wayne; "Beverly" is the name of one of the Mantle twins (from the movie "Dead Ringers"); "Francis" we also know as "Old Blue Eyes", "Maria" is the middle name of Klaus Brandauer, the guy who portrayed Otto Preminger in the Halle Berry production of "Introducing Dorothy Dandridge"; there's "Gale" Harold of QAF fame; and "Camille" Saint-Saens is one of my favorite classical composers.

In some of these cases, there is a difference in the spelling (Vivian vs. Vivien, Francis vs. Frances, Marion vs. Marian, Beverly vs. Beverley), but still, why would a caring, feeling parent lay this burden on a little kid. I'm sure [the kids] suffered many a school-yard beating ...or, as in Johnny Cash's tale, learned to be really, really tough.

Even with the gender-specific spelling variation, many women use the male spelling (i.e. Vivien Leigh, Marion Ross, Francis Andrews, Beverly D'Angelo). There for awhile, it was fashionable to use [masculine] surnames as women's first names. Remember the characters "Bailey Quarters" from "WKRP In Cincinnati", and of course, "Murphy Brown", and her mother "Avery", (wonderfully played by Colleen Dewhurst). And there's the real-life "Kelly Bishop", who once having danced in a chorus line, now plays Lorelai's mother. So...

"What's in a name?
that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;"

Quote of the day: "Never trust anyone who functions from noble motives. The good are never sure, and in the end, they'll let you down."

Louise Perryman

I'm dedicating this post to the Australian singer-songwriter Louise Perryman. She's not that well known in the US and her music is not available through the usual sources (i.e. Amazon, Tower, etc) ...although, [some of] it may be available on music services like "Rhapsody".

I became aware of, and subsequently enchanted by, this chanteuse back in the early days of mp3.com when they used to offer a platform for any and all musicians to feature their work. At that time, I had access to most of the tracks from her three CDs (Come-On-A My House, Nowhere Near Eleven, and Whisper My Name), and was totally mesmerized by this Aussie with such a "Soul"-ful voice. She's often billed as the "White" women with the "Black" voice, but in actuality, her broad style incorporates elements of pop, rock, R&B, soul, and jazz.

She's all about the music ...no scantily-clad performances, pelvic thrusts, or choreographed dance routines, just the music.

Click "here" to listen to some of the music of Louise Perryman. These tracks won't be always featured, since this playlist (on my home site) changes from time to time, but I'm currently (relative to the date of this post) featuring some of my favorite selections.

"www.louiseperryman.com" is the official site where you can get more information about Ms. Perryman. Oh yeah, all her CDs are available from this site ...or there'll be a link to where you can get them.

Quote of the Week: "Music hath charm to soothe the savage breast."